Showing posts with label Michael Jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michael Jackson. Show all posts

Saturday, 21 November 2009

The Demands of a Ditzy Diva

Now even bearing in mind that the Heath & Safety Exective (HSE) is an organisation who'll happily provide you with an eight thousand-page report on the potential dangers of opening a can of tuna, and back it up with nanny legislation banning you from doing same, it won't come as a shock to you to learn that 'celebs' can make a consummate arse of themselves with some of the preposterous demands they make of the mere mortals who surround them; and bay-frontaged Mariah Carey doesn't disappoint here, either: Mariah Carey's demands for 20 white kittens blocked by health and safety.

OK, I understand that 'celebs' can be simply unrealistic; that they can be simply unreasonable; but then there's being full-batshit Diva! Demanding a bigger limo - I get. Demanding red-carpet treatment - I get. But on which part of her developmental stage did Miss Carey miss out? Why on earth, short of desires of being some Blofeld-esque-Bond-villain, would even the most vacant mind want 20 white kittens on hand... just to switch on some Christmas lights? Did she need one for each octave she can sing? No, coz that'd be four.

I call it the 'Michael Jackson Syndrome' (MJS): utterly pointless, fatuous and self-indulgent actions taken, and decisions made, by the rich of money, but not of mind - those who've forgotten the qualifier of "could I or should I do this?"; those to whom their usual coterie of lackeys, hairdressers and green-room sycophants have long since ceased to say "No! That's not appropriate, you'll just look stupid and vacuous!"

Mind you, I guess asking for nigh-on two dozen white kittens isn't as bad as a grown man taking a procession of prepubescent boys to his bedroom on a regular basis. Or paying them hush-money to keep their mouth shut afterwards.

Like that was ever gonna end in anything but tears...?
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Saturday, 7 November 2009

The Michael Jackson Seance


Just culled this from Twitter:

@DavidSchneider: "How's the #mjseance going? Is it true that as a ghost he's shaped like Caspar but ironically getting gradually blacker?"

And here's comedy you just couldn't write if you sat down and planned it:


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Monday, 2 November 2009

Twitter seance, 'contacts Michael Jackson and Kurt Cobain'

You really do have to wonder, sometimes, just what kind of meds are required to corral those who believe in this voodoo into keeping a straight face: Twitter seance, 'contacts Michael Jackson and Kurt Cobain'

So we're apparently now to believe, as conveyed from being post restante on the other side, that Kurt Cobain rates Dave Grohl as a "good drummer"?

Which just begs the question: did Cobain have this same opinion when he asked Grohl to join Nirvana, back in 1990; or is this flash of post mortem largesse a direct result of him attempting to interior decorate his living room with this owns brains and a 12-gauge shotgun? I mean, just how reliable are the afterlife ramblings of people with a lamentably lax attitude to their own shotgun's safety catch?

Which still leaves us with two unanswered questions: what language do ghosts speak? And how do you like your séance? I like mine medium.


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Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Jacko lags on dead celeb rich list


Elvis said to be "all shook up" at the news... 


Bubbles said to be going bananas...


Liberace said to be pink with rage...


Anna Nicole said to be considering breast augmentation to get over the shock...














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