Thursday 19 August 2010

OUTRAGE OVER PLANS TO BUILD LIBRARY NEXT TO SARAH PALIN





OUTRAGE OVER PLANS TO BUILD LIBRARY NEXT TO SARAH PALIN

19-08-10
PLANS to build a state of the art library next to Republican catastrophe Sarah Palin are causing outrage across mainstream America.


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Almost 40% of Americans still support the idea of books
Campaigners have described the project as insensitive and a deliberate act of provocation by people with brains.

The issue is forming a dividing line in advance of November's mid-term congressional elections with candidates being forced to declare whether they have ever been to a library or spoken to someone who has books in their home.

Meanwhile President Obama has caused unease within his own Democratic party by endorsing the library and claiming that not everyone who reads books is responsible for calling Mrs Palin a fuckwit nutjob nightmare of a human being.

But Bill McKay, a leading member of the right-wing Teapot movement, said: "Sarah Palin is a hallowed place for Americans who can't read.

"How is she going to feel knowing that every day there are people going inside a building to find things out for themselves and have thoughts, right in the very shadow of her amazing nipples."

He added: "Our founding fathers intended for every building in this country to be a church containing one book, written by Jesus, that would be read out in a strange voice by an orange man in a shiny suit who would also tell you who you were allowed to kill.

"Building a library next to Mrs Palin is like Pearl Harbour. Or 9/11."

And Wayne Hayes, a pig masseur from Coontree, Virginia, said: "I is so angry right now.

"It's like something is on fire right in the middle of my head. Like I've eaten a real hot chilli, but it's gone up my nose tubes rather than down my ass tubes."

He added: "Would these library lovers allow me to set up a stall next to the Smithsonian Museum and start selling DVDs of bible cartoons as long as it was in accordance with local regulations?

"Oh they would? I see. So is that why they're better than me?"


Thanks to 'The Daily Mash' for its content

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2 comments:

  1. Oh boy!  Here we go again.  If you let them build one library, pretty soon they will be in every small town in America.  Kids will see them.  Kids will even use them.  If god wanted us to see libraries, she would have given us eyes.  Libraries might even cause the end of stupidity, then where would we be? 

    God help us.  We might all be Democrats!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Cosmic Navel Lint19 August 2010 at 18:56

    LMAO Jerry! :-D

    ReplyDelete

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