Saturday, 19 December 2009

Dr Samuel Johnson's review of 2009

If you're not following this guy on Twitter, I recommend you do so: he's very funny!

You can follow him at @DrSamuelJohnson or at

Either way, here's his review of 2009, lifted lock, stock and barrel from today's Guardian newspaper.

Dr Samuel Johnson Photograph: Corbis

Pop culture 2009: The year in lists

The Guide's review of the past 12 months starts here, as legendary man of letters Dr Samuel Johnson sharpens his virtual quill pen to look back

@drsamueljohnson The Guardian Saturday 19 December 2009

✒ The Americkan Populace now coronate Mister OBAMA, for he has solemnly promis'd not to be Mister BUSH

✒ Tis the Fashion for the Dandy to stride around dress'd as a Hudson Bay Lumber-Jack, wielding a Man-Bag in place of an AXE

✒ Bedlamite Harlequin Lady GAGA is oft dress'd as Mister Thos. TELFORD'S Iron-Bridge

✒ Celebrated Trollop Miss JORDAN and unremarkable Hellenic Troubadour Mister ANDRE separate in Publick, just as they met, lived and FORNICAT'D

✒ The League of Champions is 'pon us: has Almighty GOD carv'd Mister Wayne ROONEY's Face from a POTATO?

✒ After the Appt. of Sir Alan SUGAR as Govt. Emissary, I beseech that militaristick Actor Ross KEMP should be Secretary for WAR

✒ Glastonbury (n.) Farmer's Field wherein OAFS enact the Battle of Marston Moor accompany'd by Musick & OPIATES

✒Mister Andy MURRAY scampers round a cover'd Green-House for five Hours and is declar'd a national HERO

✒ Whiggish-mind'd People do flock unto the electronick-Theatre to see Mister BARON COHEN play affeckted Hapsburg Molly BRÜNO

✒ Great Alarmum greets the Govt's Swinish-Flu Hotline, whereby Hystericks can procure Patent-Medicine thro' BESEECHING & LYING

✒ Footpad & Highwayman Mister Ronnie BIGGS escapes the Gibbet & is Free to ROB other disabl'd Octagenerians

✒ Froz'n Costermongers ICELAND dismiss Portly Slattern Miss Kerry KATONA; she will find Employ in Mister HOGARTH'S Gin Lane

✒ Pugilistick Cave-man Mister Noel GALLAGHER abandons the OASIS minstrel-Troupe after sixteen Years & one SONG

✒ Great Hordes of Saxon Gold found in Stafford-Shire; as if pagan Warriors once dress'd as Fool-Pitier Mister BARACUS

✒ Pie-fac'd Rag Doll Mister Dominic MOHAN supports the Tories, as direct'd by Boy King MURDOCH & th'opinion Polls

✒ X Factor: another Saturday ruin'd by Tear-stain'd Orphan-Protector Mister Louis WALSH & his Retinue of singing URCHINS

✒ Hateful Crone Miss Jan MOIR uses her Quill not to write but to pin all Manner of CALUMNY 'pon the Body of poor Master GATELY

✒ At Autumntide, the mawkish Revel of Children-In-Need does tend to Infants in Want of Care & Adults in Want of ATTENTION

✒ England to play the Americkan Colonie in the World-Cup: I shall take Mister Benj FRANKLIN with Mister STANLEY'S Knife: "Who Art Thou?, Who Art Thou?"

✒ Copenhagen (n.) Parlour-Game wherein Ambassadors do ask their Neighbour to place less Coal 'pon the Fire, oft in VAIN



  1. brilliant!  thanks for posting these

  2. Cosmic Navel Lint19 December 2009 at 22:25

    Glad you liked it M.E. !  :-D

  3. Wow - smart and fun - great post, thanks for putting it up, had not heard of this guy before and am going to check him out online!

  4. Cosmic Navel Lint22 December 2009 at 20:27

    Hey Brahm, good to see you again - and glad you're liking the Doctor! :)


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