The Demands of a Ditzy Diva

Now even bearing in mind that the Heath & Safety Exective (HSE) is an organisation who'll happily provide you with an eight thousand-page report on the potential dangers of opening a can of tuna, and back it up with nanny legislation banning you from doing same, it won't come as a shock to you to learn that 'celebs' can make a consummate arse of themselves with some of the preposterous demands they make of the mere mortals who surround them; and bay-frontaged Mariah Carey doesn't disappoint here, either: Mariah Carey's demands for 20 white kittens blocked by health and safety.

OK, I understand that 'celebs' can be simply unrealistic; that they can be simply unreasonable; but then there's being full-batshit Diva! Demanding a bigger limo - I get. Demanding red-carpet treatment - I get. But on which part of her developmental stage did Miss Carey miss out? Why on earth, short of desires of being some Blofeld-esque-Bond-villain, would even the most vacant mind want 20 white kittens on hand... just to switch on some Christmas lights? Did she need one for each octave she can sing? No, coz that'd be four.

I call it the 'Michael Jackson Syndrome' (MJS): utterly pointless, fatuous and self-indulgent actions taken, and decisions made, by the rich of money, but not of mind - those who've forgotten the qualifier of "could I or should I do this?"; those to whom their usual coterie of lackeys, hairdressers and green-room sycophants have long since ceased to say "No! That's not appropriate, you'll just look stupid and vacuous!"

Mind you, I guess asking for nigh-on two dozen white kittens isn't as bad as a grown man taking a procession of prepubescent boys to his bedroom on a regular basis. Or paying them hush-money to keep their mouth shut afterwards.

Like that was ever gonna end in anything but tears...?

The Demands of a Ditzy Diva